


Of Potions, Pranks and Hidden Potential

by kcstories



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Community: slythindor100, Fluff and Crack, Hogwarts Era, Multi, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-03-16
Updated: 2007-03-16
Packaged: 2018-07-22 04:44:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7420423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kcstories/pseuds/kcstories
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cho is missing, Cedric is hysterical and denial is Hermione's new best friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Potions, Pranks and Hidden Potential

**Author's Note:**

> **Pairings:** Cedric/Hermione, Harry/Draco, Ron/Viktor, Snape/Rita Skeeter  
>  **Warnings:** Crack. More crack. Silliness. Suggestiveness. And did I mention the crack?  
>  **A/N:** The Potterverse is JKR's, not mine, and this story has nothing to do with the fourth year Yule Ball as it occurred in canon.

“Hello there, Granger,” Cedric says, trying to sound cheerful but not pulling it off.

“Good evening, Diggory,” comes the flat, disinterested response.

He sits down next to her on the garden bench and asks, “You wouldn’t happen to know where Cho is, would you?”

She shakes her head. “Not a clue, I’m afraid.”

“You don’t suppose…” He hesitates for a moment, but then decides not to mince words; this is a Gryffindor he's talking to, after all. “You didn’t by any chance see her go off somewhere with Harry Potter, did you?”

“No,” Hermione replies cryptically. "She’s definitely not with Harry.”

“Hm.” Cedric studies the girl next to him carefully. She has a dark expression on her face, and it dawns on him that she also appears to have lost her date for the Yule Ball.

“There’s something you’re not telling me, isn’t there, Granger?” he points out, proving that Hufflepuffs can be observant too, at least once every seven blue moons.

She takes a deep, calming breath. Her original plan had been to never mention any of this to anyone. She was going to get some fresh air, go to bed early and pretend she’d never heard or seen a single thing, cling to sweet, sweet denial for as long as humanly possible.

But if Cedric insists on being a glutton for punishment…

“About an hour ago,” she blurts out, “you must have been outside at the time, Ron yelled through the Ballroom that Harry was kissing Malfoy by the lake. Or rather...” She clears her throat. “I believe his exact words were: _Bloody hell, Harry looks like he’s trying to suck the Ferret’s face off!_ ”

Between laughing and flinching, Cedric automatically opts for the latter. “So Cho’s not with Harry Potter,” he says slowly, trying to make the mental images of the Potter-Malfoy lakeside snog-a-thon disappear. “Did Ron happen to mention her by any chance?”

“No,” Hermione responds. “I was getting to that. Ron never uttered another word. He caught sight of Viktor, grabbed him by the arm and dragged him out of the room. I assume into the nearest broom closet, if the cheers coming from Pansy Parkinson and Lavender Brown were anything to go by.”

Cedric’s eyes grow impossibly wide, and Hermione’s not quite done yet. “And then the next thing we knew,” she rambles on, “some Ravenclaw boy burst in, looking quite green and stammering something about Professor Snape and Rita Skeeter in the rose garden and, well, I’m sure you understand I decided not to stick around to hear the full story."

“What? WHAT?” Cedric’s head is spinning. “So all these people… and... and... Snape are… are…”

“… randomly getting up close and personal with the most unlikely of partners?” Hermione finishes for him. “Yes, it would seem so.”

“But… but… why?” Cedric manages, fast turning an unsettling shade of pale.

As if on cue, George and Fred Weasley come sauntering around the corner.

“Excellent and superb prank, George,“ one twin says.

“Most extraordinary prank, Fred,” the other confirms, rubbing his hands in glee.

“I should have known,” Hermione exclaims with an exasperated sigh. She gets up, goes to stand in front of the grinning brothers and crosses her arms. “What have you two been up to now?” she demands sternly.

“Ah,” Fred replies, looking incredibly smug. "We went and helped the course of nature along a little, didn’t we, George? Take a bowl of punch, add a bit of potion and then stir counterclockwise for two minutes with a smidgen of tender loving care.”

“I hope you realise,” Hermione states grimly, “that thanks to your lovely little intervention, Harry and Malfoy - of all people - are out by the lake right now, kissing.”

The smile never leaves George's face. “Of course! The fine line between love and hate,” he says. “Let’s be fair, people. We all knew something like that was bound to happen eventually. The way I see it, we saved those two from many years of unresolved sexual tension, and we stopped lots of innocent students from getting caught in the crossfire as well.”

Fred nods wistfully. “Truer words have never been spoken, George. Someone ought to give us a medal for this, you know.”

“A statue even, Fred.”

Hermione’s patience has already shattered. No doubt her nerves will soon follow. “Your youngest brother,” she screams, “dragged Viktor Krum into a sodding broom closet and is probably snogging him within an inch of his life even as we speak!”

“That’s our Ron!" George says cheerfully. “Good lad. I always knew he had it in him.”

Hermione takes a deep breath, and then shouts at the top of her lungs, “A second year student saw Professor SNAPE SHAGGING Rita SKEETER in the rose garden!”

Those words have barely been spoken or without warning, a dead pigeon drops from the sky. Cedric jumps back quickly and narrowly avoids it hitting him in the head.

Fred and George go silent, and stay that way. For at least twenty seconds.

“Um, do you reckon we went too far this time, George?” Fred then ventures carefully.

“Never,” comes the self-assured response, and quickly, the two of them walk away again, because Hermione's starting to look kind of scary and besides, they have places to be and more people to hide from.

Hermione again turns her attention to Cedric. “You didn’t drink any punch, did you?” she asks, sounding a little suspicious.

“No. I’m allergic to strawberries, so I stuck to Butterbeer.”

“Good. I didn’t have any either. Punch is a little too sweet for me.”

“Well, in that case…” Cedric looks at the girl in front of him, who still seems angry, though no longer as furious as she was a few minutes ago. “Seeing most of the other people, including my date, I assume, are off doing other things, how would you feel about going back to the Ballroom with me for a dance or two?”

Hermione frowns for a moment, but then shrugs. “Sure. Why not? We might as well enjoy the rest of the evening, before all hell breaks loose tomorrow morning when they all come to their senses.”

Cedric smiles and holds out his arm.

Together, they return to the castle, where they end up dancing and talking for hours.

*

 

The following morning, the Daily Prophet announces that He Who Must Not Be Named was arrested during the course of the night, captured on Hogwarts grounds, in the private quarters of a visiting student.

“Did you know that bastard would be coming here?” Harry asks Draco from across the table. There’s no accusation in his tone, just genuine surprise.

“No,” Draco says. “I had no idea he spoke French, either.”

“Or liked strawberry punch,” Hermione interjects with a knowing smile. Her words of wisdom go unnoticed, however, because Harry and Draco are lost in each other’s eyes again, Ron and Viktor still haven’t resurfaced, and to everyone's horror, Professor Snape is smiling.

But fortunately, being ignored doesn’t bother Hermione as much as it might have done.

Over at the Hufflepuff table, Cedric winks at her and she's starting to wonder if maybe she was a little hard on Fred and George last night.


End file.
